...Happy Anniversary to us! :)
It's hard to believe that we have been married 3 years already, and even more so to believe my last post was in August this year (4 months ago)! So much has happened since then, where to start....
So 3 years of marriage, 3 months of parenthood and what a ride it has been!! As if the first part of 2012 wasn't 'eventful' enough, the rest of it certainly proved to dish out some of the toughest moments we have ever had to deal, as well as some of the most amazing.
Our rollercoaster ride called 'pregnancy' and it's ups and downs along the way...
In a nutshell....the end of 2011 brought us the news that we would need a little assistance in the baby department, so January 2012, we did our first round of IVF.
1- Up
We were lucky enough to be successful on our first try and it all started off well. When we hit the half way mark, the roller coaster ride really began.
2- Down
Our 20 week specialist scan showed that Twiglet's kidneys were slightly larger than they should be (albeit by only a millimeter each), and we were told he had 'mild bilateral hydronephrosis. Something that is more common in boys and could be more severe in girls. As we were heading off on hols to the UK and US a few days later, we decided we didn't want to be stressing about it, as we didn't know if it was a boy or girl, so we decided we should find out. We were given the news that Twiglet was a boy!
3 - Up
Our 28 week scan showed that the kidneys were now fine and there was no longer any sign of the hydronephrosis (apparently all very common to come and go as it did). So yes, all that stress and forbidden google searching for nothing.
4 - Down
Our 32 week scan showed that Twiglet's abdomen was on the smaller side in terms of growth, and the blood flow in the placenta was also on the low side and needed monitoring...which meant me being very aware of the number of kicks I felt each day...a responsibility which is quite normal, but because of the severity, weighed heavily on me.
5 - Down
We went back a week later at 33 weeks to see if there had been any improvement, only to be told there hadn't and that the blood flow had been redirected to his brain. The next day we were called in to see my normal Ob-Gyn, who informed us Twiglet would need to be delivered by a emergency caesarian the next day....Shu!! Nothing can quite prepare you for those words....especially when you only 33 weeks pregnant. Time to say 'Good-Bye' to the bump.
6 - Up
Our beautiful little boy, Hudson Mark Attwood, was born on 11 September 2012 (can you believe it?) at 15h27 and he was absolutely perfect! Weighing a mere 1.79kg and measuring 43cm in length!
The Delivery...
My caesarian was only booked for 2pm on 11 September, and the day was spent anxiously waiting for 2 o'clock to come...which eventually came and went. My procedure had been delayed due to some unexpected deliveries, but eventually my time did come...and I walked myself into the theatre. The part of the actual procedure I had been dreading the most, was getting the spinal block and as much as I tried not to move, I still ended up giving a little jump when the needle hit a nerve on its way in. But before I could think about it any further, the anaesthetic started to work it's way thru my body... a very strange feeling indeed. After a few tests to see if I could feel anything, the doctor set to work. The anaesthesiologist was a hoot, chatting away to Mark and the parts that I remember involve her telling him she flies helicopters in her spare time (really...that wasn't the drugs talking). A few minutes in, she lent over to tell me that she hadn't wanted to say anything before, but the doctor had already cut... Scary! The part of getting to the baby really is that quick...and before I knew it, he was out. He was whisked off to the corner behind me and I was a little panicked as I hadn't heard a scream, as you see in the movies...but then like music to the ears, I heard this little little cry. Next thing the nurses were showing me our beautiful little boy, all wrapped up. I unfortunately didn't get to hold him, and literally only got to see him for about 30 seconds before he was whisked off to the neonatal ICU, whilst they finished up with me (which takes a lot longer than getting the baby out).
Whilst I was in recovery Mark was backwards and forwards between myself and Hudson. I obviously had to wait until the anaesthetic had worn off before I could go anywhere and we were woken in the early hours of the morning by the night nurse on duty, for my meds, the catheter removal, my first shower and to get me up and walking... and finally I was wheeled down to see our little bundle of joy.
Words can not describe the feelings on first seeing our little miracle!!! And he truly was a miracle. The doctor had informed us that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around him in such a was, that he couldn't move (which explained why he had been in the breech position at every scan). He was absolutely tiny, beautiful and so so perfect, despite his little body being covered in tubes. We weren't allowed to hold him, but we could put our hands in the incubator to touch him. At my first touch he jumped, which made me jump and I tried to rip my hand out the incubator, however since I chosen the hand with my own IV plug still in it, it got caught on the side of the incubator on the way out, and so the first words my baby heard me utter was 'oh shit' from the fright we had both gotten and the pain. The second try went more smoothly, however it wasn't long before the heat from the incubator on my hands and the effects of the anaesthesia started to make me feel a little woosy, and even although I was already sitting down, I felt like I was going to faint, so I unfortunately had to leave the ICU and out little baby behind...so as you can imagine, it wasn't quite how I had envisaged the first meeting of our son. But the next morning we were back again and this time the oxygen tube had been removed, as our little fighter had started to show us just what he was made of. The NICU ward moved into a new spot and as the days past our little man was doing very well. I think it was the second day when we were allowed to cuddle him for the first time, and we each got a chance to do some 'kangaroo care', for some skin on skin bonding time. Our nurse, Marlene (a Durban girl) placed him on my chest where I sat as still as I could, scared to move in case I hurt him or messed with one of the wires attached to him. So amazing, yet still unreal at the same time....at the realisation that I was finally a mom.
As the days went on, our little boy's stomach started to bloat, and the emotional roller coaster we had been on for the last few months, picked up it's pace somewhat more. By this stage I had been checked out of hospital myself, Mark was back at work and we were both at the hospital each day to see him, Mark before and after work and me the whole day. Sitting there day in and day out was emotionally draining, especially seeing so many little families come and go through the NICU ward...as we waited for that moment when it would finally be our turn to go home together. At times the only thing that kept me going was seeing his cute little smile (winds or no winds, it really helped to brighten the day), together with something I had been told by one of the Emirati ladies I had met in the NICU ward. She had told me that in their religion they believe that 'when your baby smiles, the angels are talking to them'. I really found comfort in that and its something I will always remember, as it helped get me through the remaining days in there.
Coming in everyday, became like a guessing game, to see whether Hudson would be in his incubator or his cot, because as quickly was he would progress, he could digress.
We were almost 'going home' so many times....but his stomach never quite managed to get back to normal and after about the 4th potential discharge, after the same treatment each time...we insisted on seeing another doctor and were passed on to the Paediatric Surgeon.
One look at Hudson and Surgeon told us exactly what he thought it was and that the only option was surgery. Of course we had to think about it...having been almost going home and told one thing for so long by the NICU Paediatricians, to all of a sudden be told that our son now needed surgery... it was all a little too hard to comprehend. But later that day, Hudson seemed to be worse and we called the surgeon back and made what was possibly one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make...to send our tiny little 3 week old baby for surgery. The surgery was booked for a few days time and until the actual surgery day, the surgeon would come to check on him to see how he was doing, which ultimately resulted in the the surgery being brought forward, as Hudson was digressing.
The surgery day came, and Mark managed to stay strong whilst I balled my way through it, which was nothing new really, as that is pretty much how things had gone for the past few days/weeks/months. It was still so hard to believe that I was finally a mom...yet the baby's room at home was still empty. And at times I battled to keep the negative thoughts at bay, as to whether we would actually eventually be able to bring our baby boy home.
Needless to say, our little fighter continued to show his strength and the operation was a success! It was exactly what the surgeon had thought and where. Amazing! You can imagine our despair at how something so serious had been missed by the NICU specialist paediatricians, time and time again, ultimately making our little boy suffer unnecessarily for so long. It turns out he had a volvulus, which caused a stricture in his bowel, which had it been left any longer would have been life threatening, as it could have ultimately caused his bowel to burst, which would have poisoned his system. All I can say is thank goodness for the surgeon...and our 'parents instinct' at insisting on seeking further attention.
1 month and 1 day after his birth (12 October to be exact), Hudson still so tiny, and weighing a mere 2.40kg, finally came home with us! A day to be remembered!!
The Lansdell's were in town for the weekend to visit us, so luckily for us Ang managed to capture some very special pic in some of his first few moments at home, as well as our first outing with him.
He is such a good little baby, so happy and such a joy (and not to mention cute with his beautiful big blue eyes!)
We love him so much and are so thankful to all the friends and family that kept us in their thoughts and prayers and even more thankful that a higher power that was looking out for him and to have blessed us with him.
It's hard to believe that we have been married 3 years already, and even more so to believe my last post was in August this year (4 months ago)! So much has happened since then, where to start....
So 3 years of marriage, 3 months of parenthood and what a ride it has been!! As if the first part of 2012 wasn't 'eventful' enough, the rest of it certainly proved to dish out some of the toughest moments we have ever had to deal, as well as some of the most amazing.
Our rollercoaster ride called 'pregnancy' and it's ups and downs along the way...
In a nutshell....the end of 2011 brought us the news that we would need a little assistance in the baby department, so January 2012, we did our first round of IVF.
1- Up
We were lucky enough to be successful on our first try and it all started off well. When we hit the half way mark, the roller coaster ride really began.
2- Down
Our 20 week specialist scan showed that Twiglet's kidneys were slightly larger than they should be (albeit by only a millimeter each), and we were told he had 'mild bilateral hydronephrosis. Something that is more common in boys and could be more severe in girls. As we were heading off on hols to the UK and US a few days later, we decided we didn't want to be stressing about it, as we didn't know if it was a boy or girl, so we decided we should find out. We were given the news that Twiglet was a boy!
3 - Up
Our 28 week scan showed that the kidneys were now fine and there was no longer any sign of the hydronephrosis (apparently all very common to come and go as it did). So yes, all that stress and forbidden google searching for nothing.
4 - Down
Our 32 week scan showed that Twiglet's abdomen was on the smaller side in terms of growth, and the blood flow in the placenta was also on the low side and needed monitoring...which meant me being very aware of the number of kicks I felt each day...a responsibility which is quite normal, but because of the severity, weighed heavily on me.
5 - Down
We went back a week later at 33 weeks to see if there had been any improvement, only to be told there hadn't and that the blood flow had been redirected to his brain. The next day we were called in to see my normal Ob-Gyn, who informed us Twiglet would need to be delivered by a emergency caesarian the next day....Shu!! Nothing can quite prepare you for those words....especially when you only 33 weeks pregnant. Time to say 'Good-Bye' to the bump.
6 - Up
Our beautiful little boy, Hudson Mark Attwood, was born on 11 September 2012 (can you believe it?) at 15h27 and he was absolutely perfect! Weighing a mere 1.79kg and measuring 43cm in length!
My caesarian was only booked for 2pm on 11 September, and the day was spent anxiously waiting for 2 o'clock to come...which eventually came and went. My procedure had been delayed due to some unexpected deliveries, but eventually my time did come...and I walked myself into the theatre. The part of the actual procedure I had been dreading the most, was getting the spinal block and as much as I tried not to move, I still ended up giving a little jump when the needle hit a nerve on its way in. But before I could think about it any further, the anaesthetic started to work it's way thru my body... a very strange feeling indeed. After a few tests to see if I could feel anything, the doctor set to work. The anaesthesiologist was a hoot, chatting away to Mark and the parts that I remember involve her telling him she flies helicopters in her spare time (really...that wasn't the drugs talking). A few minutes in, she lent over to tell me that she hadn't wanted to say anything before, but the doctor had already cut... Scary! The part of getting to the baby really is that quick...and before I knew it, he was out. He was whisked off to the corner behind me and I was a little panicked as I hadn't heard a scream, as you see in the movies...but then like music to the ears, I heard this little little cry. Next thing the nurses were showing me our beautiful little boy, all wrapped up. I unfortunately didn't get to hold him, and literally only got to see him for about 30 seconds before he was whisked off to the neonatal ICU, whilst they finished up with me (which takes a lot longer than getting the baby out).
Whilst I was in recovery Mark was backwards and forwards between myself and Hudson. I obviously had to wait until the anaesthetic had worn off before I could go anywhere and we were woken in the early hours of the morning by the night nurse on duty, for my meds, the catheter removal, my first shower and to get me up and walking... and finally I was wheeled down to see our little bundle of joy.
Words can not describe the feelings on first seeing our little miracle!!! And he truly was a miracle. The doctor had informed us that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around him in such a was, that he couldn't move (which explained why he had been in the breech position at every scan). He was absolutely tiny, beautiful and so so perfect, despite his little body being covered in tubes. We weren't allowed to hold him, but we could put our hands in the incubator to touch him. At my first touch he jumped, which made me jump and I tried to rip my hand out the incubator, however since I chosen the hand with my own IV plug still in it, it got caught on the side of the incubator on the way out, and so the first words my baby heard me utter was 'oh shit' from the fright we had both gotten and the pain. The second try went more smoothly, however it wasn't long before the heat from the incubator on my hands and the effects of the anaesthesia started to make me feel a little woosy, and even although I was already sitting down, I felt like I was going to faint, so I unfortunately had to leave the ICU and out little baby behind...so as you can imagine, it wasn't quite how I had envisaged the first meeting of our son. But the next morning we were back again and this time the oxygen tube had been removed, as our little fighter had started to show us just what he was made of. The NICU ward moved into a new spot and as the days past our little man was doing very well. I think it was the second day when we were allowed to cuddle him for the first time, and we each got a chance to do some 'kangaroo care', for some skin on skin bonding time. Our nurse, Marlene (a Durban girl) placed him on my chest where I sat as still as I could, scared to move in case I hurt him or messed with one of the wires attached to him. So amazing, yet still unreal at the same time....at the realisation that I was finally a mom.
As the days went on, our little boy's stomach started to bloat, and the emotional roller coaster we had been on for the last few months, picked up it's pace somewhat more. By this stage I had been checked out of hospital myself, Mark was back at work and we were both at the hospital each day to see him, Mark before and after work and me the whole day. Sitting there day in and day out was emotionally draining, especially seeing so many little families come and go through the NICU ward...as we waited for that moment when it would finally be our turn to go home together. At times the only thing that kept me going was seeing his cute little smile (winds or no winds, it really helped to brighten the day), together with something I had been told by one of the Emirati ladies I had met in the NICU ward. She had told me that in their religion they believe that 'when your baby smiles, the angels are talking to them'. I really found comfort in that and its something I will always remember, as it helped get me through the remaining days in there.
Coming in everyday, became like a guessing game, to see whether Hudson would be in his incubator or his cot, because as quickly was he would progress, he could digress.
We were almost 'going home' so many times....but his stomach never quite managed to get back to normal and after about the 4th potential discharge, after the same treatment each time...we insisted on seeing another doctor and were passed on to the Paediatric Surgeon.
One look at Hudson and Surgeon told us exactly what he thought it was and that the only option was surgery. Of course we had to think about it...having been almost going home and told one thing for so long by the NICU Paediatricians, to all of a sudden be told that our son now needed surgery... it was all a little too hard to comprehend. But later that day, Hudson seemed to be worse and we called the surgeon back and made what was possibly one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make...to send our tiny little 3 week old baby for surgery. The surgery was booked for a few days time and until the actual surgery day, the surgeon would come to check on him to see how he was doing, which ultimately resulted in the the surgery being brought forward, as Hudson was digressing.
The surgery day came, and Mark managed to stay strong whilst I balled my way through it, which was nothing new really, as that is pretty much how things had gone for the past few days/weeks/months. It was still so hard to believe that I was finally a mom...yet the baby's room at home was still empty. And at times I battled to keep the negative thoughts at bay, as to whether we would actually eventually be able to bring our baby boy home.
Needless to say, our little fighter continued to show his strength and the operation was a success! It was exactly what the surgeon had thought and where. Amazing! You can imagine our despair at how something so serious had been missed by the NICU specialist paediatricians, time and time again, ultimately making our little boy suffer unnecessarily for so long. It turns out he had a volvulus, which caused a stricture in his bowel, which had it been left any longer would have been life threatening, as it could have ultimately caused his bowel to burst, which would have poisoned his system. All I can say is thank goodness for the surgeon...and our 'parents instinct' at insisting on seeking further attention.
1 month and 1 day after his birth (12 October to be exact), Hudson still so tiny, and weighing a mere 2.40kg, finally came home with us! A day to be remembered!!
The Lansdell's were in town for the weekend to visit us, so luckily for us Ang managed to capture some very special pic in some of his first few moments at home, as well as our first outing with him.
We love him so much and are so thankful to all the friends and family that kept us in their thoughts and prayers and even more thankful that a higher power that was looking out for him and to have blessed us with him.
